Moose & Squirrel!

Okay, so their names are Moose & River and they are only staying at Camp FoodLady for like a week, but holy shit – the laughter they have brought has been pretty darn great.

Real talk: River is the brains of the operation and like any smart person I know, anxiety is REAL with her. In her daily life, she is used to being HBIC and uses Moose as her personal bodyguard. So, Camp FoodLady has been a surprising challenge to her reality – but I think it will be good for her in the long run.

Okay, had to pause from writing about River to tell you exactly what she is doing right now. She has one of D’s socks and has been throwing it up in the air while laying on her back on the couch. She is super sad that it fell behind the couch. I just stopped typing to go and get that pretty lady her stinky sock. I SWEAR, D’s worn socks could be used as dog toys – I believe my husband’s feet may sweat dognip.

So, onto Moose – we have been unable to stop misquoting from Princess Diaries 2, “…but he’s a cute Moose, makes all the girl moose say, hrrraawwhh!” Moose is a handsome simple summer child. We don’t know if it is his normal skillset, or if he has learned from our pack of assholes, but Moose’s in-the-way game is spectacular. He wants to lead the human parade, unfortunately he doesn’t know where the humans are going so he proudly leads the way, and then realizes noone is following him so he quicky zooms back to where the human is walking. And repeat. and repeat. It’s adorable.

Thus far, they have been having a pretty great time. The slow introduction to my pack of assholes went very well with one exception, and that would be a Dobby. Dobby is our very own special simple soul, bless his heart. The first two days that Moose & River were here I had them in the a/c in the front bedroom and individually introduced them to a few of our pack of assholes at a time. Dobby *found* them, and by *found* I mean he remembered that there were two new dogs in the front bedroom and went and “Woooo’d” at the door on an almost hourly basis. To be fair to him, he forgets a lot – I just didn’t realize he resets himself hourly. But, they are all integrated now and Dobby only *finds* them about once per day, so he seems to have settled that Moose & River exist into his long term memory – or whatever he has that sort of equivicates a long term memory.

OMG – Moose just found River’s stinky sock. He looks so excited about it.

FoodLady Chronicles – heard this morning edition:

Everyone has their own language with their loved ones. Thankfully there were no other humans around to hear my conversation with the dogs this morning because in reflection, I may have sounded a wee bit macabre:
*FoodLady leaves bedroom, sees Sam in hallway*, “Sam, where did you get that trachea?! I didn’t give you a trachea……Herbert!?! you have a trachea as well!? I see….so we raided the treat box. Mia, no….you can’t steal Herbert’s trachea–he’ll kill you…….here, here *grabs bully stick from box*….have a penis. Okay, fine….Sam, have the penis. Mia, here is a trachea.”
*happy peaceful canine munching sounds*
*FoodLady walks past bathroom, sees another stolen trachea carefully half hidden under a towel and bellows*, “Herbert! we do not hide stolen trachea in the bathroom!” *picks up trachea and stomps around looking for more stolen bovine anatomy.*
Good morning from the anatomy thieving fuzzy-butts.