Abused FoodLady

Y’all. I’m not superstitious, but in reality, I’m pretty superstitious and I tend to think things happen in threes (or they happen in threes because I believe they happen in threes, but whatever! All I’m saying is I’m doomed), and, in case you didn’t get this from the parenthetical, I’m doomed!

Stormii (the NOT-MY-DOG mama dog) is feeling much better and is getting more and more affectionate every day, to the point where she leaped into my arms on the couch and then joyfully swung her heavy, meaty head and clocked my right in my orbital socket with her closed mouth. Holy shit, I saw stars. They were sparkly.💥💥💥

Then, to add insult to physical injury, I was laying upside down on the bed and Humphrey decided to join me. Instead of jumping ANYWHERE else on a king-sized bed, he jumped up right over my head. He realized his mistake as soon as he jumped so he froze as soon as he landed. Unfortunately, he froze with his, um, boy parts, on my forehead. He paused like a gargoyle, just right over my head. 
So, yeah……Humphrey mushroom stamped my forehead. 🤦‍♀️😔🤦‍♀️🤣🤦‍♀️

Darrin was of NO help at all as he was collapsed in wheezing laughter. 🤦‍♀️😍🤦‍♀️

But y’all, I’m low-key paranoid to go to work today! If dogs that love me are punching me in the face and assaulting my forehead with their junk, what’s going to happen with dogs & cats that don’t even KNOW me yet?!  😨
Wish me luck. ❤️


FoodLady Chronicles- yeah….things. edition:

So things have been bad, I feel crappy whining about things because they are really more “first world problem” bad than truly bad.
Example? I am without a car. My old taurus has officially died the death of oh dead dead which means I have been walking to work. Herbert (service dog) thinks this WAY better than driving and it is only about a mile. Yes, this sucks, and yes, it sucks trying to do things like “buy food”, but really…things could be worse.
For example, it would have been worse if last night when I got home from work the two dogs at home could have gotten into the trash, destroyed a pillow, disassembled the couch, and begun gnawing on the arm of the couch which was *just* paid off. (I wasn’t worried about the new couch because it is made of METAL)
oh wait, that *wasn’t* a bad dream, that actually happened.