FoodLady Chronicles – Gertrude-kitty edition: Dear Gertrude, I appreciate your weirdness and fully support your originality. However, just to keep you updated, it is super creepy to see you run around the front yard at full speed as if the hounds of hell are after you when the only thing that appears to be chasing you is, sadly, your tail. It. Is. Attached. To. You. In case you were wondering that is why it hurts when you attack it.
Love, FoodLady