I haven’t been writing a lot lately, neither here or on social media because, well, time. We have been living in the new house since the first of the year and have gotten 95% of our crap mess possessions here.

In other news I have too many possessions. Also, I do not seem to have enough time.



Ok, this is not in any way animal related – well, I mean, we can reeeealllly stretch and say oil originally started off as critters…too far? Yeah, thought so.

So, I love the small generator. There is no oil filter, you just remove the logical and well thought out hex headed drain plug, drain the old crud out, screw the plug back in, put new oil in and poof! done.

Biggie? Changing Biggie’s oil should have taken me 20 – 30 minutes.

Four. Hours.

It took me four [expletive] hours. Allow me to detail:

I decide to change oil in the generators and I start with the smaller generator.

15 minutes later, the small generator oil has been drained. Air filter washed and drying.

I then begin reading manual on how to change Biggie Generator’s oil. It unhelpfully refers me to find the engine manual (never did find it) for additional details. *sigh*

Attempt to remove oil filter. No movey. Attempt to stab with screw driver, deflected. Is this dang thing made of super reinforced adamantium or something?! Alrighty then, I’ll start over with the oil draining part.

Square head? I don’t have a rachet fitting for that. I attempt to use channel locks which indents the plug…what, is it made of silly putty? lead? Why is it *so* soft?! Attempt to use a pipe wrench….not enough room. Fine!

I’m going back to the oil filter. Go obtain drill, drill hole in [expletive] oil filter, stab hole with screw driver, remove oil filter. Small Victory! *does cabbage patch dance*

Internet’s advice on stuck oil plug: lube it, beat it, heat it, destroy it.

Used penetrating oil – it didn’t help. Couldn’t find a hammer so I beat the soft square plug using the back of a hatchet, it didn’t help. Now, do not do what I did next, I moved onto the “heat it” step by using a propane torch, sadly it didn’t help but YAY! I didn’t die. Didn’t want to destroy it…….

[Expletive] you Biggie Generator, I’mma flip you over. Using the pure strength given to me by rage, I flipped that generator and managed to drain about half a quart out of the generator where the oil filter used to be, but still not enough. There is still too much oil. That’s when husband (via phone) suggests using the siphon pump and a glorious sunbeam lit up the siphon pump….or I had inhaled too many vapors at this point, whatever….it’s fine! I grabbed that siphon and started pumping and it was a beautiful sight as that old oil started filling the pan and I smiled, knowing I was close to the end. And that’s when the drain hose released from the hand pump and then there was old oil EVERYWHERE. Like a CSI murder scene, just with cruddy engine oil instead of blood dripping from every surface. I said, [expletive] it! Kept pumping and I drained that damn oil tank! VICTORY WAS MINE! I mean, I looked like an extra from Beverly Hillbillies after they struck oil (oddly moisturizing, not recommending it….but fyi), but I had drained enough of that [expletive] oil to finish up.

I installed the new oil filter and filled Biggie up with new oil and then began the clean up. It was a LOT of clean up.

I really do enjoy mechanical work, but WOW I really might not be a natural talent at it.

Update: I have now purchased the CORRECT ratchet doo-dad to remove that nut/plug as well as a replacement square nut/plug so I can send the old one to hell WHERE IT BELONGS!

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Do ya ever sit and look at your peaceful and deeply sleeping dogs and seriously consider curling up right next to them and then BARKING REALLY LOUDLY FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON?!?!?
No? Just me then. 😜
I haven’t done it, but only because dogs don’t understand sarcasm or revenge and where’s the fun in that? 😒

Random Learnings

Random learnings:
1. I will *never* complain about going to my local post office ever again. When your local post office gets squished you end up really missing the convenience.
2. I have never missed anything as much as I miss my fence and gate. I have no refrigeration, only intermittent running water OR electricity (using a baby 2000W generator); turns out I would trade a LOT to be able to play fetch with the dogs in the yard.
3. Puppies are awesome n stuff, but life is easier with dogs over 5 years old.
4. Guilt is a really useless emotion. Everyone has something that is better than our current sub-par life. Whether that be a really good generator, working washing machine, inexplicably good cell phone service, a close-able fence/gate, a working vehicle, a refrigerator, a job, the ability to cut grass…..whatever, everyone has something that keeps them going. What this knowledge has taught me is to really enjoy your personal little “luxuries,” share what you can, don’t feel guilty about whatever you *do* have.
5. Before now, I thought I had experienced every form of tired that existed; I was wrong. In my life I have been physically tired, mentally tired, emotionally wrung out, grief-exhausted, and post-adrenalin crash tired; this has been none of those. This is a different level of weariness altogether.
6. I find I have to take everything one little step at a time just to keep from feeling overwhelmed and wanting to give up.
7. Everyone is going to have at least one rather embarrassing hilarious moment of frustrated rage over something incredibly inane. My moment occurred a few days ago when I tried to put on my new expensive sports bra I bought pre-hurricanes to use at an exercise class I had started attending. My rant went something like, “damn Maria diet made this damn bra too big! Dammit! Why!!!!!!?” as I flopped dramatically on the bed. [Please do not say how great it is to lose weight no matter how it happens; there is a vast difference between losing weight while becoming healthier and stronger vs. losing weight due to stress or illness.]
8. While hand washing clothes like it’s frakking 1845 is fine, how in the ever-loving-hell do you get dog hair out of your clothes without a dryer?!

I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all for now.

FoodLady Chronicles – Horsie Visit Edition

Me: *on toilet*

Dogs: *begin going batshit crazy*

Me: *various loud profanities*

Dogs: *take turns running to me while continuing batshit craziness*

Me: *pull up pants and continue profanities while stomping to find out what the *profanity* the *profanity* problem is.*

Dogs: *end is nighe crazy continues*

Me: “ooooh! Horsie-friend!” *Grab carrots, zip outside.* “Hi, horsie-friend! Wanna carrot? Horsie-friend?! Why you leaving?! Come back!! I have carrots! Awwww!” *sadly flashes back to every kitty I have ever chased around while channeling my inner Elmira and walk back to the house*

Dogs: *chest-bumping and high-pawing each other* “Did you see our FoodLady?!! She scared the cologne/snack right outta that horsie-interloper!”

Me: …..and my day has begun.

How Trouble Can Help.

This is Dobby, he is an unquestionable pain-in-the-ass. What’s interesting is that him being the destroyer of all things and a rampant pain is what will save my life.

Putting aside the whole diabetes blood sugar ups and downs thing for which his scent training has paused while we recover from the hurricane; I get depressed. Yes, it is normal to be upset following a hurricane, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the kind of depression that makes it hard for me to get out of bed. I’m appropriately medicated, but that fun little vacation we took to Washington that lasted three times longer than it was planned for did *not* help with the stabilization of the feels.

So, if I lie here and try to rest (aka-forget the world in sleep) having a 50lb pibble vibrating with energy next to the bed ready to find that next adventure keeps me going.

So, given that he has been farting up a storm next to me it appears to be time to go for a potty break…or at least find a gas mask.

There he is, keeping me going again….*grin*