I forgot this part.
I forgot how much grief physically HURTS.
I lost my soul-dog, my diabetic alert service dog named Herbert on February 10, 2016 and I started therapy in 2017 which has helped me a lot. I’m doing okay.
But I live on an island that has a serious pet overpopulation problem and I when I find an abused/neglected/abandoned dog I do my best to catch them and get them vet care and then find them a home.
I found Honey Dog on February 23rd. Despite food, antibiotics, etc. she wasn’t improving.
We did exploratory surgery yesterday and she was riddled with cancer, obviously, I let her go.
But when I got home, my body was aching; and this morning I woke up sore all over. And then I remembered I’ve felt like this before, after Herbert passed. Grief hurts, emotionally AND physically. This poor dog was sick, starved, abandoned, shot with a pellet gun (x-ray showed us), and I found her rooting through trash on the side of the road while people drove by and walked by her like it was nothing. Like she was nothing – and she was amazing. I fell in love with this dog and didn’t know her very long. Everyone who met her fell in love with her.
At this point I don’t know if I am grieving for the loss of her, or the loss of faith in humanity? But it’s probably both.
I will keep on doing what I do, because for the many who just don’t care, or choose not to see, there are just as many people who care deeply and give of themselves to make the world around them a better place for everyone.
Try to do something good today in the memory of this dog that had every right to be nasty and bitey and hateful, but never was. Learn something new about dog behavior and then pass it on and think of a little blonde dog; or buy someone a snack to help them not be hungry because hunger sucks; or just go to PayPal and send a dollar or two to the STX animal shelter (firstname.lastname@example.org) and make sure to reference Honey in a message, something like “because of Honey” or “RIP Honey,” because that would help too.