FoodLady Chronicles – Sam Dammit!

FoodLady Chronicles – Sam Dammit! Edition:
Dear SamSam-puppy, no animals are allowed on the counter. Now, usually when I am teaching puppies to not go on the counter it is because they are standing on their hind legs and “surfing” to steal as much food as possible but you, dearest Sam, are unique. I had to yell at you to GET. OFF. THE. DAMN. STOVE. As in, you were STANDING on the fracking [cold] STOVE.
It is so wrong I don’t even know where to start or end the amount of wrong.