FoodLady Chronicles – Sleeping Ain’t Happening, So I Wroted edition:
Alright, so Herbert is super ill and had to be left at the doggie hospital. Unsurprisingly, I’m deeply affected and incredibly sad and by the time I got home after that I felt like a prickly ball of angry-sad. Words rather fail me to describe the emotion, but prickly ball of angry-sad is pretty close. When I have all the feels, I tend to want to be on the ground, I could try to explain this physiologically by discussing blood pressure changes, fainting, and the body protecting itself or I could try to explain it as a mystical need to ground myself; but for the purposes of this story it really doesn’t matter. I was sad, I lay down on the ground. Boyfriend, having seen the prickly angry-sad before, made sure to get the other dogs before coming over to help me up. SamSam the WünderAss did his normal “Hi lady! Hi hi hi!” before running off to sniff and pee on things (thankfully not me). Poor FosterPiper! There was a NewScaryLump in the yard! This poor dog loves to bark. She loves to bark at people walking down the road, cars going down the road, leaves falling from trees, stiff breezes, loud farts…..the poor little peanut will let! her! pack! know! should anything happen. Even SamSam the WünderAss who lives to bark at wandering people has begun to look at Piper with a “seriously? again?” expression. So, “there is a NewScaryLump! Bark!” SamSam does his HiLady! run-by, Piper gets closer, “Bark…bark?” Lady? Lump is Lady? “bark…?” FOODLUMPYLADY?!? and Piper turns into the most hilarious wiggle puppy ever, slides her derpy snoot under my face and wiggle-flips onto her side and pushes herself into a wiggle-snuggle until she successfully turns my tears into laughter.
I have never had a “failed” foster; from the challenging fosters (Betty) to the fosters I deeply adore (Petey) and all the ones in the middle of the Betty-Petey Doggie Foster Scale System I just made up right now–I found them all good homes.
Today, after giving me the gift of deep belly laughter after too many months of stress and tears, Ms. Piper Fuzzy-Britches Pantaloons (her show name, obviously) will either get the most perfect home, or she will “fail” and be mine.
[and before anyone suggests training her as my next diabetic alert service dog, her temperament is not quite right for public access work; although once we finish basic obedience I will start her on basic scent training using birch oil just for fun. If she then shows great aptitude for scenting I will scent train her for home-use diabetic alerting and maybe find her a forever home who wants/needs a home-use diabetic alert dog]
Love, Lumpy FoodLady ❤