Me: *on toilet*
Dogs: *begin going batshit crazy*
Me: *various loud profanities*
Dogs: *take turns running to me while continuing batshit craziness*
Me: *pull up pants and continue profanities while stomping to find out what the *profanity* the *profanity* problem is.*
Dogs: *end is nighe crazy continues*
Me: “ooooh! Horsie-friend!” *Grab carrots, zip outside.* “Hi, horsie-friend! Wanna carrot? Horsie-friend?! Why you leaving?! Come back!! I have carrots! Awwww!” *sadly flashes back to every kitty I have ever chased around while channeling my inner Elmira and walk back to the house*
Dogs: *chest-bumping and high-pawing each other* “Did you see our FoodLady?!! She scared the cologne/snack right outta that horsie-interloper!”
Me: …..and my day has begun.
Food Lady Chronicles 