I just looked at my beloved husband and said, “honey, Piper’s lying like a whore again – talk to your dog…”

❤❤❤❤❤

Dear Dobby, there is no other way to say it – you’re an asshole. You may have notice the two humans you live with occasionally saying, “we get it now, we know why you were left on the side of the road.” That is because we have developed an intricate backstory for you where you’ve lived in about 7 different homes and all of them start out taking care of this sweet little dog who just needs food and love and then fast forward 7 months and the people are pacing while pulling their hair out before freaking out and driving you back to where I found you. You feel great and have ALL the energy in the world – I’m thrilled. Let me detail your current assholery:

1.  toilet paper is not food. We only have ONE roll left, if you steal and eat that I am wiping with you. 
2. your sisters (Ziesa & Piper) are not your personal chew toys. 
3. Not all straps are evil and must be destroyed. Straps attached to items such as shoes, bags, furniture, etc. are there ON PURPOSE – they are not evil. 
4. My bras are not yours to chew and destroy despite being made of mostly straps. Bras are also not to steal and run with into the yard (why does this keep happening to me)?
5. Neither of your brothers (Sam & Humphrey) want you to crawl into their mouths and when they tell you to stop you should maybe not make screeching noises like they are killing you – I’m watching, they didn’t touch you. You appear to be extremely passive aggressive, which is weird in a dog. 
6. This confidence (assholeishness) you show at home – could you perhaps save some of that for the outside world? I know everything is scary and I am trying to take things slowly, but I promise everything is not out to get you. 

Love, FoodLady!

So, Dobby’s doing well, healthy, happy, etc. No, we are not getting rid of him, I just like bitching every once in a while. I don’t know if the shelter judged him a bit older than he was or if he is finally going through a delayed adolescence due to early starvation – doesn’t matter, he is full on embracing his “adolescent asshole” stage. 

I love the little monster. 

In other news on Monday morning the (not nice)neighbors’ (probably nice but has issues)dog was heading South down the road. I’m not proud that for half a second I thought about calling the police, but I made the better-person decision to herd the barky fuzzy-butt back into his yard to keep him from getting run over. Fuzzy-butt is/was fear-reactive so he was super pissed (from a distance) as I moved him towards his yard just by talking and walking towards him. His human came out a bit shocked as she said she didn’t even realize he was outside. I just nodded and waved goodbye while thinking, “Yeah, it sucks when that happens, doesn’t it?”

All’s well that ends well.  ❤

So, this afternoon my phone gets all feisty and says I have messages, well la-dee-dah, aren’t I fancy?! I received a voicemail and a text from my new(ish) neighbor with whom I have enjoyed random over-fence dog chats. He was calling to say there was a dog laying outside my gate and could one of mine have gotten loose? My first thought was (obviously), “shit….how did they get through concrete?!” because they were locked in the house. Then he described the dog and I said, “shit….another stray.” My freaking yard apparently grows “dog-nip” because a ridiculous number of strays end up here. The most memorable was when Life, Teak, Freckles (aww, I miss them) and I woke up to find a very large Rottweiler with infected eyes and a broken chain hanging out in our kitchen. We were all a bit surprised at first, but he turned out to be a sweetheart. I wish I could rehabilitate, train and re-home all of the poor little lost souls but no one person can do it all. 

That said, the never-ending battle of dog rescue is not what this post is about – neighborly consideration and LOVE, that’s what this post is about. Y’all, my heart about melted. A dog was outside my gate and my neighbor called me to let me know, that it turned out not to be one of my (beloved) assholes is irrelevant because if it had been one of mine I could have gotten home and fixed the problem. It was just a beautiful moment in stark contrast to what I’ve dealt with in the past with the other neighbors, ya know, the police-calling-try-to-kill-my-dog ones that I was just thrilled. So thrilled I wrote a card and left it with a 16oz bag of ZiwiPeak dog food (great dog treats! and yes, they have dogs!)

Not only did said neighbor care enough to call me, a friend of his is keeping the stray safe while trying to find her owner. Here is the pretty lost girl. 

FoodLady Chronicles – Dear Dobby Edition: Dear Dobby, yes, it’s true. You are indeed the destroyer of all things; or as I said in laughing frustration while standing in front of wreckage, “I now know *why* you were left on the side of the road Mr. Stinky!!!” Additionally, you were once a very stoic boy. When we found you, you were an infected mess of pain and starvation and yet, still just so happy. That stoicism has left you and you have embraced the way of, “owwie, owwie, owwie, LADY! my foot was stung by some damn caribbean death insect and I’m OBVIOUSLY DYING! I may NEVER walk again! *dramatically flopping onto the ground holding up one paw* (he was fine) or No! don’t trim my nails! I may NEVER walk again! (he was fine) or Is the food ALL the way over there?! I may NEVER walk again! (he was fine).”  The rough tough little 16lb stinky, infected, furless mess of puppy – stoic & brave. The 60lb healthy muscular beefcake of a boxerbull – total mamma’s boy. I wouldn’t have you any other way little dude. 

Love, FoodLady. 

Most of y’all probably do not remember Freckles, but the house of FoodLady had to institute what was known as the “Freckles Protocol” prior to leaving. The FP can be boiled down to, “is there anything expensive or electronic within potential reach of a Freckles? no? okay, we can leave.” While Dobby does enjoy the destruction of expensive items as well as the piquant tang of chewing into electronics, his true joy comes in the removal of tags, seams, and tassles – preferably from expensive items. Perfect example, to keep him occupied while I write this, he has deigned to begin the removal of tassels from an old towel. His demolition work is just never done and this morning I am being serenaded by, “nibble, nibble, nibble, riiiiip; nibble, nibble, nibble, riiiiiip…” 

He is Dobby the Happy Asshole, Destroyer of Possessions and Mighty Master of Derp; he is beloved. 

Please enjoy this video of Dobby Nibbles. 

I like to think of myself as open-minded, but I believe that as we gain knowledge and age what each of us perceive as truth may narrow a bit. Maybe it is more correct to say I actively try to maintain an open mind. 

To be honest, I had never even considered the concept of acupuncture for any animal until I read an article a few years ago talking about acupuncture for sea turtles. After I read that I spent a little more time thinking about it and came to the conclusion that acupuncture seems inappropriate for animals. Although acupuncture helps a lot of people, the overriding condition that those people have is the belief that acupuncture can work and one thing that has been repeatedly proven is that the placebo effect is very powerful and effective.  

Now that Ziesa has such horrible hip issues I can’t help but notice how many articles mention acupuncture as treatment – too the point that I am left wondering if I am too close minded? Or does it just make the humans feel better to be doing something to (theoretically) alleviate their dog’s discomfort and because they feel better and hopeful the dog feels better and hopeful?

I don’t know. 

It’s a moot point, I’m pretty sure I can’t find a canine acupuncturist on this island anyway, let alone afford one. But I thought it was an interesting ponder. 

Love, 

FoodLady

So, my pretty pretty little princess was getting a little grumpier and ouchy so off we went to the veterinarian’s office and on behalf of Grumble Princess Ziesa Dumpy-truck Von Bulldozer (her full show name, obviously) I hereby say, “Ow Ow Fuckity Ow!”.
Her hips are rather trashed (see x-ray, ya can’t miss it), both elbows and one knee also arthritic and bringing the pain.
She will be medicated and managed and quality of life will be kept up for as many years as possible. ❤❤❤

Not going to lie though, having Ziesa all zonked out on meds lying under the same computer desk mounted to the wall that Herbert spent a lot of time under when he first got sick hit me harder than I expected.

Then I received confirmation she tested positive for Tick Fever (aka Ehrlichiosis) so now she is on doxycycline to treat. She has been on flea & tick preventative since the day I picked her up, but I did pull three ticks off her that day. She had excessive bleeding following her spay and out of concern, I stopped at the vet on the way home. She was anemic, but since the bleeding had slowed the stateside vet who was covering the office determined she would be fine. Maybe he unfamiliar with tick fever in the VI, but maybe she just seemed okay. At her 6-month-old vet visit I asked about growing pains and mentioned she was achy, but it didn’t occur to the vet or me that it could have been a tick-borne viral fever causing/exacerbating arthritis.
Now her hips, yeah, those are just a genetic lottery loss. But all this painful arthritis crap is because I didn’t pay enough attention or push hard enough to find out why she was so achy. I know professionals missed it as well, but I hold myself a to higher standard; not in diagnostics, but in knowing when something is wrong with my dogs.
Anywhoodle, her prognosis is good and her anti-inflammatory is starting to kick in; she has been visibly happier and more relaxed.

She is starting to feel better:  https://youtu.be/q5fNW_bkIv8