Well good fucking morning!

I awoke to my bed vibrating as a deep, violent growl emanated from Herbert-dog as he stared out the window. Curious, I peeked and began cussing. I threw on shoes and saw the perpetrator was still at it….the son of a bitch!
As the contents of my garbage can rotted gently down the street and the skittish blonde dog feasted mightily on paper plates and kiwi peels I watched Herbert storm the gate and slide below it with no hesitation and I began to wonder, *holy shit? Maybe I should be concern…..* I didn’t even get to finish that thought because next thing I know Herbert-dog is now inviting skittish blonde dog to play! Because isn’t garbage amazing! And you are my newest bestest friend in the whole world! We absolutely should run around like fools! Weeeeeeee! Best. Day. Ever!!!!!!!
And with an ever-resigned-to-my-fate half-grin food lady got to throw on some gloves and pick up garbage while sympathetic passers-by gave me that  “damn, that sucks….”expression and my idiot dog runs around with a blonde stray playing, no, you’re awesome strayblondedog! I never thought about opening the cans before! Pure genius! Hey! Let’s go find more stinky things! You are way more fun than my pack! 
…..and good morning y’all.